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ARE YOU LIVING WITH FAITH OR LIVING IN FEAR?
SUPINE IN INCLUSION-CONTROL-AFFECTION
AUTHOR
Dr. Phyllis J. Arno
Faith is a fruit of the Spirit and available to all.
Love, Joy, Peace,
Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness,
FAITH, Meekness, Temperance
Galatians 5:22-23 KJV
Living with faith means that you are grounded on the solid rock-JESUS.
Living in fear means that you are NOT grounded on the solid rock.
Living in fear means that your house is built on the sand.
The sand contains:
hatred sadness retaliation
insecurity frustration bitterness
stress unforgiveness violence
disbelief unhappiness hypocrisy
guilt jealousy depression
anxiety criticism murder
prejudice drugs vengeance
anger resentment alcohol
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT FAITH
Hebrews 11:1: Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Romans 10:17: So, then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God
I Peter 1:7: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ
I Timothy 6:12: Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold of eternal life…
II Timothy 4:7: I have fought a good fight. I have finished my course; I have kept the faith.
James 2:26: For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT REWARDS OF FAITH
Power to become the sons of God. See John 1:12
Power to do mighty works. See John 14:12
Kept in perfect peace. See Isaiah 26:3
Kept safe. See Proverb 29:25
Having assurance of prayer answered. See I John 5:14
Will not be confounded (confused). See I Peter 2:6
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT FEAR
There are good fears and bad. The latter kind come from wrong believing and open the door to doubt and hinder the flow of God’ power.
The Greek word “deilia” is for a cowardly fear; not being able to face a problem, but rather, running from it.
There is also the fear of people or things, based on perceptions and/or lies.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. See I John 4:18
I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from ALL my fears. See Psalm 34:4
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. See II Timothy 1:7
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. See Isaiah 41:10
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil (fear of dying). See Psalm 23:4
See also Psalm 91 and Psalm 121.
PLEASE REMEMBER, FEAR CAN PARALYZE YOU SO THAT YOU CANNOT OPERATE IN FAITH. IF FEAR IS IN CONTROL, IT WILL PUSH OUT FAITH.
LET’S LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS OF A SUPINE IN INCLUSION
FEAR (PERCEIVED) OF SOCIAL REJECTION
Supines in Inclusion tend to want and need to be included; however, their perceived fear of rejection keeps them from initiating. They will wait for personal invitations so that they can feel genuinely accepted and wanted. If they do not receive a personal invitation, they will tend to feel they have no value and that they are unwanted.
Supines in Inclusion need to learn that people cannot read their mind and know that they want to be included; therefore, they need to learn to initiate and express their need to socialize.
FEAR SAYING “NO” WHEN ASKED TO SERVE OR HELP
Supines in Inclusion tend to have a gentle spirit and a servant’s heart so they tend to feel that they must say “yes” if asked to serve or help. They, at times, may want to say “no,” but they are afraid to because they fear that they will be rejected.
They need to learn that it is okay for them to say “no.” They need to pray and seek the Lord’s guidance before they say “yes”; otherwise, they will tend to say “yes” to everyone. They will then lose their joy and feel drained emotionally and physically.
FEAR OF CALLING “HURT FEELINGS” ANGER
Supines tend to fear saying “I am angry.” This is because they feel that saying “I am angry” will upset people and then they may reject them. They usually prefer to say, “my feelings are hurt.” To the Supine in Inclusion, it does not seem as harsh as saying “I am angry.”
Supines need to learn to be honest with themselves and admit that their “hurt feeling” are actually internalized anger.
LET’S LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS OF A SUPINE IN CONTROL
FEAR OF BEING IN CONTROL
Supines in Control tend to fear being in control. They prefer enforcing the rules rather than making the rules. When required to make decisions, they prefer to have someone to help shoulder the responsibilities and confirm their decisions.
This will help them to have less stress and anxiety.
Supines in Control need to learn to pray and seek the Lord for help when making their decisions.
FEAR OF SAYING ‘NO”
They do not feel valuable or capable enough to be in a leadership position. They are afraid to say “no” so they say “yes.” Then, they become even more fearful of being responsible for making decisions and being in charge.
Supines in Control need to learn that it is okay to say “no.”
FEAR OF BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHERS
Supines do not like to be responsible for making decisions for themselves let alone making decisions for others in their care. They may even try to manipulate or motivate others to “help” them take on their responsibilities so that they are not totally responsible for the decisions.
Supines in Control need to learn to seek the Lord for guidance.
FEAR OF CALLING “HURT FEELINGS” ANGER
Supines in Control tend to fear saying “I am angry.” This is because they feel that saying “I am angry” may upset their relationships and they may reject them and not be there for them when they need them to confirm decisions they need to make.
Supines in Control need to learn to be honest with themselves and admit that their “hurt feeling” are actually internalized anger and deal with their anger.
LET’S LOOK AT SOME OF THE FEARS OF A SUPINE IN AFFECTION
FEAR OF NOT BEING WORTHY ENOUGH TO BE LOVED
Supines in Affection tend to see value in others, but not themselves. They tend to believe that they themselves, have no value and they are fearful of opening up and telling their deep relationships that they need love and affection. Because they fear not being worthy enough to be loved, they will pull inside their emotional “shell” and appear to be cold and withdrawn.
Supines in Affection need to learn that God loves them and that they are worthy of love and affection from their deep relationships.
FEAR OF INITIATING LOVE AND AFFECTION
Supines in Affection tend to need and want a great deal of love and affection; however, because of their fear of initiating love and affection, they want their deep relationships to initiate so that they know they genuinely love them.
When Supines in Affection do not initiate, they are sending out messages to their deep relationships that they do not want love and affection. It is unfair for the Supine to expect their deep relationship to “read their mind” and know that they want and need love and affection.
Supines in Affection need to learn to communicate with their deep relationships their need love and affection.
FEAR OF REJECTION FROM DEEP RELATIONSHIPS
They can become angry and bitter towards their deep relationships that do not meet their needs for love and affection. They may tend to become withdrawn, depressed, and anxious.
Supines in Affection need to learn to look to God for their love and affection first so that they do not make ungodly demands on their deep relationships.
Supines in Affection need to know that their value is in Him. He will never leave them or forsake them and that His love will flow through them so they can love their deep relationships with God’s love.
FEAR OF CALLING “HURT FEELINGS” ANGER
Supines in Affection tend to fear saying “I am angry.” This is because they feel that saying “I am angry” will upset their deep relationships and they may in turn reject them. They usually prefer to say, “my feelings are hurt.” To the Supine, it does not seem as harsh as saying “I am angry.”
Supines need to learn to be honest with themselves and admit that their “hurt feeling” are actually internalized anger.
NOTE: “A Supine is a Supine is a Supine.” In other words, a Supine needs people. It does not matter whether they are Supine in Inclusion, Control or Affection, the bottom line is: THEY NEED PEOPLE.
Please remember that these are temperament tendencies. Their walk with the Lord, their birth order and their learned behavior will tend to affect their temperament.
It is important to let them know these are tendencies and because of the effects of the above, some of the tendencies may not apply to them.
You need to explain to your counselees that there are no good or bad temperaments. God created all temperaments with strengths, weaknesses, and needs.
When you are disseminating the APS tendencies to your counselees, you need to start out by saying: “People with your temperament tend to do….”. By doing this, you are letting them know that they are not the only ones with this temperament.
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